better than alone
by closingdoors
Summary: "It is enough to bring the smile to her face, the light that shines onto her dark and twisted heart." Castle, Beckett, and their baby boy in the Hamptons. Fluff, because I promised. COMPLETE.


**Disclaimer: **Seriously? You think I own Castle yet continue to write fanfiction? Nope.

For Gabriela, who asked (begged) for fluff. Though I still believe spending hours watching gifs of fluffy kittens would be better than me going through the agony of writing something in which nobody dies.

* * *

Kate watches from where she lays out on the beach as Castle carries their son, Brandon, over to the sea. Brandon squirms in his arms, watching the sea with rapt attention- startling for a child of only seven months.

She smiles widely, heart tumbling in her chest, as Castle stoops low with Brandon, placing him on the sea. Allows the boy to wrap his hands around Castle's fingers and walks him towards the calm tide. Brandon places one foot in front of the other slowly but with so much determination in his face that she understands why Castle always tells her that Brandon looks just like her.

When his small toes first hit the ocean, Brandon's blue eyes go wide, mouth falling open. Then, as the next tide rolls in and Castle grips his wrists tightly, swinging his feet through the cold sea, her little boy lets out a magnificent screech, turning into a chuckle as the corners of his mouth lift up and his eyes sparkle delightedly.

No longer willing to be a bystander anymore, Kate pushes up from the towel and heads over to them, running her hand along Castle's spine as she passes him.

"Hey." She grins at him, watching as he grins back.

She stoops down to be level with Brandon, curls her fingers around his ribs and nuzzles her nose against his in an eskimo kiss. He laughs, eyes twinkling just like his dad's when he sees her, little fingers wriggling from Castle's and falling into her.

Kate catches him easily, laughing as she does. His little fists beat against her collarbones and she stands up, spinning him around just the way he loves, before crouching back down with him. His toes dip into the sea again and he makes a loud, high-pitched noise, chubby cheeks pulled wide as he grins, legs kicking madly against the water.

Hearing Castle's chuckle, she glances back at him over her shoulder, catching him staring at her ass.

"Castle." She chides him, narrowing her eyes. "Stop staring at my ass."

Castle smirks, placing a hand on the small of her back as she stands, holding Brandon in her arms. Her little boy squirms in her arms so she bounces him, rolling her eyes. He's as energetic as his father, perhaps even more so, if that's possible at all.

"It'll be a cold day in Hell when I stop admiring certain, ah, aspects of my wife's body." He says, hand falling to her waist, thumb tracing patterns across the skin left bare by her bikini.

Kate rolls her eyes at him, sighing. "We're not married yet, Castle."

Castle grins, widely and proud. "Yeah, but we've been engaged for almost two years, Kate. That basically means that we're married."

She raises her eyebrows. "Really? Huh, well I suppose we won't need that actual ceremony after all."

"Hey, hey, hey…" Castle says quickly, "I didn't mean that. Of _course _we still need the ceremony, but- I just- I…"

She watches as he grows tongue tied, trying to restrain her laughter. He's adorable sometimes. Just like her little boy.

"I just really, really like calling you my wife, okay?" He says finally, standing tall to try and appear somewhat more masculine than he really is.

She lets out a startled laugh, pressing a kiss to his lips lightly, pushing up on her toes suddenly and feeling Brandon head-butt her arm in surprise.

"It's not enough to call me the mother of your children, huh?" She murmurs, watching the way his eyes darken as the words escape her lips.

"God, Kate, you know that's…" He trails off, pressing his forehead against hers.

She lightly strokes his bicep before pulling away, looking down at her son in her arms. He has his forehead pressed against her collarbone, his legs no longer kicking as they bracket her right hip but rather dangle lightly, his eyes beginning to flutter close, his fingers in his mouth. She grins, pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead, before looking up at Castle.

"I'll go put him to bed." She tells him.

Castle nods, turning to walk back to their Hamptons house together. "Sure. I should get a start on the dinner, anyway."

"You say that, but we both know you're gonna wait for me to help you."

Castle pauses, face morphing to one of surprise. "You wound me, detective. Nobody has ever doubted my culinary skills before."

She smirks. "Because nobody realised how they pale in comparison to mine until they tasted my-"

"Hey now, that was totally unfair, _anyone_'_s _cooking would pale in comparison to that. Besides, you openly admitted that it wasn't down to your culinary skills, but because it was a recipe handed down through many generations of Becketts."

Kate giggles, careful not to jostle Brandon as she does so, cupping the back of his head as he stares up at her with sleepy blue eyes.

"Mommy's gonna teach you her delicious recipe, don't you worry. Then you can kick Daddy's ass at cooking, too." She tells him, kissing the top of his head delicately.

"Hey!" Castle exclaims, cupping his hands around their son's ears. "I thought we agreed on no swearing around Branflake."

"And I thought that we agreed you'd stop calling him that." She growls, entering their house with him.

Castle laughs as she heads up the stairs towards Brandon's room, calling after her, "C'mon, Kate, you know it's adorable!"

"Don't listen to your daddy, Brandon." Kate murmurs, lips brushing the fine brown hair on his skull. "You don't need silly nicknames to be adorable. You already are, my beautiful little boy."

* * *

"You're nervous."

Castle's fingers dance along the length of her arm as he presses against her from behind, stealing a moment as they're alone in the kitchen. Kate sighs, leaning her head back against him and embracing his warmth, his comfort, as his hands span her waist and rest low on her stomach, palms splayed.

"Well, aren't you?" She responds.

"Of course not. This is good news, Kate. Why would I possibly be nervous?"

Kate smiles slightly, tracing patterns onto the back of his hands. "I… I know this is good news. I know they'll accept it as good news, too. But, it's just…" She bites down on the inside of her cheek, turning her eyes towards the floor. "Embarrassing?"

Castle chuckles, dipping down to press a gentle kiss to her cheekbone. "Well, you're right about that one."

Martha, Alexis, and her father all await them, surrounding the table. The food has already been served for them but Kate walks back into the room with a bottle of wine, and a soda for her Dad. She surreptitiously glances around them all as she opts for water.

"Katherine, this is all very grand, but how about we talk about the elephant in the room before getting on with our evening." Martha says, one hand sweeping exaggeratedly as she speaks.

Kate sits beside Castle, a pink stain settling on her cheeks. "Martha, I-"

"Oh, darling, please. No excuses!" Martha grins at her over the rim of her wine glass.

Castle places his hand over hers, thumb sweeping along her knuckles comfortingly. "Mother." He says, laughing.

"What?" Martha sets her wine glass down, winks at the pair of them. "I'm just saying what Jim and Alexis are too polite to."

Kate glances at her Dad and finds that he looks mildly uncomfortable, staring at the food on his plate. Alexis, too, pushes hers around with a fork. For all the maturity of the girl- Or, woman, really, as she's twenty-one now, she still seems to be the same polite teenager Kate first met seven years ago.

In the corner of her eye, she spies Castle watching her carefully. He understands how nerve-wracking this is for her. But then she can't stop the smile that threatens to swallow her face whole, words tumbling from her lips proudly.

"I'm pregnant."

Alexis drops her fork onto her plate, the clatter of metal and china almost overpowering the startled laugh Martha lets out. And her Father- her calm, collected father- only observes both her and Rick with inquisitive eyes. A small smile tugging lightly at one corner of his lips.

"But, isn't Brandon only, what, seven months now?" Her Father asks, frowning slightly.

She nods, feeling Castle squeeze her hand as the embarrassment swells.

"How far along are you?" Alexis asks curiously, giving her a soft smile.

"Just shy of three months." Kate tells her, settling one hand on her stomach.

Martha chokes on the wine she was drinking, turning all attention towards her. Castle's grip on her hand grows just a little tighter, and she can't help the chuckle that rises low from her stomach.

"But Brandon must have been just four months old when you fell pregnant again!" Martha cries, laughing at the absurdity of it, mischief twinkling in her eyes.

Jim clears his throat, diverting the conversation away from Martha's statement. Kate feels the relief surge through her at that, as well as how grateful she is for her Father having some form of tact. Poor Alexis seems to be turning into a tomato.

"Well, congratulations to the pair of you. I suppose this means that the wedding is postponed again?" He asks with a wry smile.

Castle sighs by her side. "Unfortunately."

Kate turns to him, scowling, all the while finding it incredibly amazing that they can talk about such a subject as marriage so freely. Twirls the stunning ring on her finger that he had given to her on their swings during his second proposal, practically begging her to say yes this time, using his big blue eyes on her to sway her. Of course, she had said yes.

And _then _she had told him about being pregnant with Brandon.

"Castle, the same rules apply as last time. I refuse to marry you when I look like a whale of the sea."

Castle laughs brightly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You didn't look like a whale when you were pregnant with Brandon. You looked beautiful, Kate."

She bites her lip, tries to go for a terse tone as she speaks so that he knows she's serious. "Even so, it's the same rules as last time."

"But last time you said we could get married once Brandon-"

"Castle. I refuse to get married to you and go on our honeymoon the size of a beach ball."

"I don't think you need the Honeymoon, kiddos." Martha remarks dryly, causing Alexis to blush the shade of her hair and Kate to duck her head slightly.

"Anyway," Jim says swiftly, catching the grateful smile Castle sends his way, "speaking of grandchildren, where's Brandon?"

"I put him to bed about an hour ago." Kate tells him, grateful for the change of topic. "He's had an exhausting day. No doubt he'll be up half the night because of going to bed so early."

Her father nods, that light in his eyes appearing as it always does whenever his grandson his mentioned.

"May I see him? Once we're all done here, of course."

"You're staying the night aren't you, Dad? You'll see him in the morning." Kate says, confused, and rather unwilling to risk waking her energetic son up from his slumber.

"I-I know. But… I'd like to see him."

And then she understands, as she watches the ghosts surface in his eyes. That desire to check that everything is okay, to reassure himself that his world is still wonderful- the same one she has, has had since her Mother died. It's the same force that drives her to say goodnight to Brandon whatever time she returns from work, whether it be his bedtime or 3am in the morning. And she knows that when he is older he will not remember how she carries her exhausted bones up the stairs to his room after a hard case at 4am just to make sure that he's still breathing, but it gives her a sense of stability. Just hearing her son's tiny heart beat through the soft cotton of his pyjamas, it is enough to bring the smile to her face, the light that shines onto her dark and twisted heart.

* * *

The nightlight they have in Brandon's room casts moons and stars along the walls, his mobile dangling above his cot with smiling planets and constellations. She sits with him in the rocking chair, watching the way his tired eyes absorb the colours dancing around the room, smacking his lips every now and then and squirming in her arms.

She trails a finger lightly over his button nose, wondering whether he'll look more like her or Castle as he grows. When he was first born, aside from his blue eyes, everything about him was exactly like her. Everyone said so. Castle revelled in it. But now, seven months later, she notes how he is growing increasingly like his father, in both looks and personality. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

And she's curious, of course she is, about whether that will change. Just as she's curious about what his voice will sound like, what his favourite subjects in school will be, what kind of friends he'll make- what type of brother he will be to his unborn sibling. But she wouldn't mind so much if he stayed like this forever. A small, squirmy thing in her arms, so cuddly and warm and loving and innocent. Makes her heart lighter at just the sight of him.

His eyes flutter close, finally, after an hour of rocking in the chair with him. She grins, watching the way his eyes roll beneath his closed lids even in his sleep. Never still.

"Sweet dreams, baby." She murmurs quietly, lifting carefully from the chair and placing him in his cot.

She stands over him for just one moment, content to watch him and be so utterly grateful as she is every day that she has her sweet baby boy. There's no way she can wipe the dopey grin from her face, nor does she want to.

As she leaves his room, leaving his door open just slightly behind her, she almost startles aloud when she bumps into Castle. He catches her as she jumps in surprise, hands spanning her ribs and thumbs brushing the underside of her breasts as he swallows her surprise in a kiss.

"Castle." She whispers against his lips. "How long were you stood there?"

He grins at her. "You really want the answer to that?"

She swats him lightly on the chest for that, laughing. "Creep."

"You're smitten. Branflake has got you wrapped around his little finger."

She scowls at him. "If you call him Branflake one more time, Castle, I swear to God-"

He presses a hand against her lips, silencing her. "No death threats around the baby, Kate." He chides her, amusement lurking in the corner of his eyes.

When it seems that he doesn't wish to remove his hand from her mouth, she nips lightly as one of his fingers, watching the way his eyes darken as he frees her lips.

"If you stop calling him that, perhaps I won't need to keep threatening you."

"You know, I'm beginning to feel like a victim in our relationship-"

"A _victim? _Hah! You really wanna piss me off, Castle, and be a victim, go ahead."

Castle grins, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "You're adorable when you're pretending to be pissed at me."

"I'm not pretending!" She protests as they move into their room, shutting the door behind them.

"Sure you are. You're quick to make angry remarks but you're all soft and adorable after spending time with our son. You always are."

Kate rolls her eyes. "Now you're just being ridiculous. There's nothing soft and adorable about me."

Castle backs her against the door, arms either side of her head and lips grazing hers as his hips bump into hers. "I beg to differ."

Her lips part, eyes trained on his. "Don't you dare try and seduce me into believing those lies, Castle."

"Oh, but Kate…" He murmurs, kissing her pulse point and making her fist his shirt tightly. "They're not lies."

"I mean it, Castle." She says, shoving him lightly even as her pulse begins to pound faster from his proximity. "My _Dad's _next door."

Castle cringes at that. "Oh. Ew, Kate."

"Exactly."

* * *

Later, as they're curled one another in bed, his arm slung around her waist and his face buried in her neck, he whispers, "Soft and adorable."

She kicks him for that.

"Yeah right." She snorts drowsily.

He falls asleep with the memory of her cradling their son, so soft and adorable, imprinted into the dark and infinite corners of his eyelids.


End file.
